O.k., so I was grocery shopping today... with all 4 kids. Normally, this is a high-stress and loud trip. Today went particularly well. The kids were not fighting, they were not running around, they were actually being good!! I did have to tell them not to laugh so loud occasionally, but that was it.
So, there was 1 particular older man that we passed a couple times during our trip. I was almost done shopping and came by him again. This time he decided to stop me. I was ready for the "are these all yours?" or the "wow! they are being so good!" comments. Well, he had another thing coming.
It did start with "are these all yours?". I answer "yes" with that "I know, you think I'm crazy" look. Then, he continued and said...
"OH, I feel sooooo sorry for you!!"
Ummmm.... WHAT?!!! Yes, that is how he started, but it gets worse.
I tell him that I think it is a blessing to have my children and he says..
"Oh no, it's misery!" I look a little baffled, so he goes on.
"From the moment you have them in your stomach until you die, it is misery!!"
Please remember that all my children are standing right there with me.
"Someone should have told you before you got married not to have ANY children! One day, you will have one that doesn't want anything to do with you and another..." This is when I realize that he has children that hate him. I do find this sad, but I just can't get past the fact that he has the nerve to say all this to me in front of my children!
I just continue to tell him that I love my children and think they are a blessing. Apparently, he doesn't believe me and repeats most of the above conversation. All this is happening as he is looking at my 4, quite adorable and well-behaved, blessings.
I must say, this is by far the rudest comment I have EVER encountered about my children. I have had plenty of the "are those all yours?", "don't you know what causes that?", even the looks of "lady, your crazy!". But to actually voice such disgust over children truly appalled me!
As we walked away, my middle child came over to me and asked me why/what that man was talking about. I told her that he was a very, very rude man that has no idea how GREAT it is to have 4 children and I gave her a great big hug!
22 comments:
Sounds to me that he is a cranky lonely man. Perhaps he didn't have the greatest relationship with his own children. This is sad.
Just know that you are doing what is good and right with your own children. I'm glad you had an otherwise good day at the grocery store.
I used to get those rude comments when I would babysit Emily and Katy. The kids looked so much alike and I ALWAYS got stares. I always responded with, "Yes, these are my stairsteps" (they looked like it when they were all lined up by height) We are going to see Emily graduate from high school during Memorial Day Weekend. I am feeling old now that she is graduating!!
Dianna
{{Cassie}} Pray for that lonely old man. How sad that a happy, young family would cause his unhappiness to erupt so bitterly.
I try to use these "teaching moments" to our advantage. When I finish seething!
Kim
Oh my dear. . I can't even believe someone would actually say that! I do feel bad for him though. . the story that is behind that cricitcal spirit must be awful!
Bran
Wow, that man had a lot of nerve to say that, especially right in front of your children. Good for you for being a good witness, and sharing what a blessing your kiddos are to you! I agree that it sounds like someone who is in desperate need of prayer.
Oh my, thank simply breaks my heart. What a very sad way to live your life.
I believe God put this man in your life so you and your family can pray for him. Don't worry about your children hearing him, simply use it as a teaching moment. They're going to watch and learn to do whatever you do, so it's so important to use situations like this to train their little hearts to have compassion for others and to pray for them.
Obviously this man has some serious issues that he really needs prayer for. Explain to your children that this man is very sad and must have had a hard life with his children. Tell them how this breaks your heart and also God's. Pray for him together as a family and let God do the work... in this man AND your children.
Blessings to you and your family.
Sad Day all around. But what a great opportunity you were provided with to love on your kids. Their GREAT!!
That's CRAZY!
I think it's awesome that you didn't give in and that you continued to share what a blessing your kids are. What a shining example to that man and to your four sweet blessings.
Don't you just wonder what people are thinking sometimes?
Wow! Some people don't know when to keep their mouths shut. I usually get the "wow, you must have your hands full." That poor man though. It's sad what can happen when we don't give over our hurt to God. Hope that despite this you are having a great day!
Ok...I'm PMS-ing...let me at um......
Angela
What a rude bitter old man! He should have never have said that to you, let alone in front of your children.
Angela,
Thanks for the support :) You know what's funny? I had a whole list of things I thought I should've said after I left. I guess I was in so much shock at the time that I couldn't say much... probably a good thing.
WOW! How horrible! With my twins I have received many rude comments, but you're right, his really does take the cake on rudeness.
He does sound like a hurting man that needs the Lord.
Hmmmmm...Bless his sweet old heart.
Sounds like a job for "CAPTAIN PROZAC"!
Sometimes life just doesn't work out the way people plan it and they like to blame the world for it.
God probably sent him to you, because anyone else would have punched him in the nose. :)
xoxo,
A
Wow. What a great teaching moment for you and your kids.
That poor man obviously has a very miserable existence.
It's awful that he decided to let loose his diatribe within hearing range of your children... but it could be seen as a great teaching moment, y'know.
Oh well. Give all of them a big hug and keep on rockin' :-)
Wow...just wow....! Like you, I would have pondered this all day long after the fact...I would have thought of a billion things I should have said...but really, as I think of it now, I would just like to be able to say to him, "i'm so sorry you feel that way. raising children is very difficult and they don't always make the choices we would like, but this is my calling from the MOST HIGH GOD and I'm determined to do my part. How they turn out is up to them. Have a great day and really, please don't feel sorry for me, according to the BIBLE I am one of the blessed ones" ;-) Of course I would have had to find him later to get all that in....no way I would've thought it at the time. You did great to stand and let him talk...really. I'm not sure I could've been that polite while he spoke curses over my children.
Tell me you sucker punched him, or at least you felt the need to.
Actually I feel for poeple (like my parents) who get old and hate everything about their lives.
I don't ever want to get that way. My husband wa son that road until I introduced him to the Secret. My oh my, the power of positive thinking.
Keep up the good work and yes, our chhildren are blessings.
Wow, that man needs some counseling... and etiquette training! I think it was so great for your kids to hear you refute what he was saying. They know you're thankful for them!
I think he was just jealous. Have you found that old people think they have the right to say whatever they want? Sort of like reverting back to childhood, like how your kids are honest!
Wow!!!
(I thought I would pop over here after reading your article on Biblical Womanhood (a little late))
...I wonder what he would say to me with my 7!?!?!?!
I can remember when I was expecting my seventh child...a couple of women in Walmart were arguing whether or no I was pregnant again...they spoke as if I wasn't even there, of course I could hear everything they said!
That man obviously needs some serious prayer for reconciliation with his children...for, little does he know, children are a blessing.
Have a great weekend & Blessings!
Heather
i know i wouldn't have kept my mouth shut. i probably would have told him that i felt sorry for him and that my kiddos were the best things in my life.
i am an optimist and give benefit of the doubt. he probably didn't mean to be rude...he probably needed to vent his hurt...maybe he has no one in his life.
or maybe he is just a rude cranky old man!
Wow- I feel bad for that man as he must have had a really hard time with his own kids.
I wanted to add, "How rude."
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