Monday, August 3, 2015

This one's just for me...

It's been a year and a half since I've written on here. So many changes.
I have been thoroughly enjoying my doula business. It has kept me busy and allowed our family a little extra income. It has been a big adjustment for everyone as well. We know that planning vacations is no longer something that can happen spontaneously. In order to actually go out of town, I have to be sure I do not take clients with a due date within 2 weeks before or after my vacation dates.
However, last Summer, we were fortunate enough to plan the biggest vacation our family has ever done. We rented an RV with my parents and brother and drove across the country in 10 days. The main attraction was the Grand Canyon. But, we visited lots of amazing places along the way. We made memories that no one will ever forget.

Also, in March of 2014, we welcomed a new little guy into our home. He came to us at 3 months old and will officially be a member of the family around August of this year. We had no idea when we began our Foster Care journey that the first placement in our home would end up staying with us forever. We knew that this type of situation is rare and we were bracing ourselves for heartache. I have been surprised at the mixed emotions I have had in this process. Although I am overjoyed at the thought of this baby joining our family, I am saddened at his loss. I am saddened that he will officially have no legal relation to his birth parents anymore. I am saddened by all the things that his parents will miss out on. I am excited to see him grow but I know that there will be milestones along the way that I will be starkly reminded that his birth parents should be seeing this too. Adoption is a funny thing. I think it is one of the most redemptive things on this Earth and I think it is a picture of what God does for his children, but it always starts with a loss and brokenness.

As we move forward, we are not exactly sure what we will be doing. We definitely did not anticipate closing our home after only a year and a half but we sure didn't think we would be adopting so quickly. At this point, we don't have a vehicle that will hold any more children. But, we are not sure what God is calling us to. Are we done with Foster Care for now? Should we get a bigger vehicle? Are we open to adoption again in the future? Do we think our family is complete? Lots of questions and we don't know the answer. It is something we are praying about and looking for God's leading.

One more thing to throw into this mix is that I am starting Midwifery School (to become a midwife) in September and it is a 3 year long program. It will be intense and financially tight, but it is something I have wanted to do for years and will be a logical continuation of my doula work. Again, it is something that we are praying about because we know the stress it would put on our family. Going to school with kids at home is never easy and I don't want to be naive about the consequences.

Morgan will be starting to take college classes this Fall as well (dual enrolling in High School). She also will be looking for a job. Avery will be in 10th grade. Sydney in 8th and Jordan just starting middle school in 6th.

What I know for sure is that God knows what He is doing and I can trust His timing and leading. I am praying for his direction to be clear to myself and my husband and for us to be unified.

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