is a word that we all can relate to. although, it can take on so many forms.
there is physical loneliness when you truly are isolated from the rest of the world.
there is emotional loneliness when you feel alone even with loved ones around.
there is spiritual loneliness when you allow your soul to drift away from God.
there is loneliness in specific areas of your life when you feel like no one else understands what you are going through.
there is loneliness in the loss of life of someone you love.
there is loneliness in the loss of friendships that have been instrumental in your life.
right now, mine is where i am in life. i have been here before. i started having kids very early in our marriage (i was only 21 when the first one was born). all my friends were still going to college or waited several years before starting a family. the first 5 years of my kids life felt very lonely. i couldn't just drop everything and go like everyone else i knew could. while other's talked about their careers and school, i was changing poopy diapers and pregnant.
as my kids grew, things got easier. my last was on his way while everyone else was just getting started. but, they were all pre-school and i started homeschooling, so our lives meshed well.
now, my kids are older. i am still homeschooling. most of the people i know will have their kids in school next year. i am beginning to get involved with the youth group at church while my friends are just getting started with elementary school. i don't have any friends my age with kids my age. i don't have any friends that i can do school with or play hookie and head to the beach with.
i was watching home movies yesterday and i was overwhelmed with sadness at how many people in the videos are no longer part of my life or my children's lives. i know change is inevitable. i know i shouldn't expect things to always be the same. but, right now i am mourning over the loss. and, i am nervous about the future. i don't want to look back 10 years from now and feel the same loss over the people who are part of my life now.
i know the truth and i know that God has plans for my family and for me that are far greater than i know. i have to choose to trust him even when loneliness looms overhead.